'Gay is the new black'

Surprisingly, I've never typed that phrase on this blog before, though I've used it in conversation several times. At any rate, The Birmingham News draws the parallel explicitly today in a story on the slew of anti-gay bills clogging up the Alabama Legislature.

You already know about the constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage -- it's already illegal, but you just never know what those liberal activist French-type judges might do -- but Sen. Hank Erwin, R-Montevallo, has decided that gay people shouldn't be able to adopt children either. Because, you know, they'll just make 'em all gay, and besides, it's icky when two dudes kiss. Also in the pipeline is the wild-eyed plan by Rep. Gerald Allen, R-Cottondale, to eliminate all written evidence that gays ever existed.

Why all the fuss over gay people this year? Well, first off, everyone knows it's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve, so there. Also, as the president of the state Christian Coalition -- truly a beacon for compassionate, non-discriminatory policy-making -- notes, 2006 is an election year, and a gay-marriage ban polls well. "People will, and can, ride the wave or get in on the parade," he said.

Well, unless it's one of them there rainbow-flag-type parades.