Monday, December 06, 2004


Tens of thousands of Alabama football fans are rejoicing at the possibility of Auburn going 13-0 this year and having no shot at the national championship. Allow me, if you will, to invite those Crimson Tide supporters to join Random Bama Fan on a magical trip to a world where everything that went wrong for the Tide this year went right...

Shula! Shula! Shula!

Wow. Just wow. I didn't think he could do it, but he did it. Mike Shula did it. This year is so totally awesome!

Everyone figured we would start 3-0 -- I mean, come on, Ole Miss? They're nothing without Eli Manning. Utah State? Western Carolina? Do they even have teams? -- but no one thought we would just wipe them out like that. We were so far up on that I-AA school that Brodie Croyle didn't even bother to go back in at quarterback after halftime.

Then there was that Arkansas game. I was getting scared for a while, but when Shula went for it on that fourth down and Ray Hudson took the handoff and streaked down the sideline into the end zone, I knew we were in for something special. Those Hogs never had a chance after that. Neither did South Carolina or Kentucky or Southern Miss. Sure, I was nervous when Hudson hit his knee in that Kentucky game, but then he just got up and shook it off and it was all good.

And then... Oh, man, we killed Tennessee! At Rocky Top, too! We were up 28 at halftime and just hit cruise control. Brodie just could not be stopped! That was his best game ever. I think I saw Phil Fulmer crying.

And then, after Mississippi State laid down for us like they always do, it was time for the main event. Alabama-LSU. The SEC West on the line, just like it should be. Those Cajuns kept trying to take that game from us, but we wouldn't let them. Could you believe when they tried to get away with shoving down our receiver in the end zone? I don't think so, guys -- oh, sorry, I forgot: "I don't think seaux." And then, at the end, they missed that extra point with a chance to tie... I just knew it was destiny.

Auburn played us a good game like they always do, but we still took them out. Brodie and Ray just rolled over their defense in the second half. The worst part was having to hear all of those Barners talking about how they would have been so much better if Jason Campbell and Cadillac Williams hadn't been hurt. I don't buy it. Auburn just sucks, and they know it. Our defense owned them.

Then -- can you believe it? -- Tennessee actually wanted some more. We took them out again and won the SEC Championship Game. 12-0, baby! Here comes national title No. 13! Bring it on, Orange Bowl!

What? WHAT?!?

What do you mean we can't go? We won the best conference in the country! We're undefeated! Auburn and LSU are the only ones that even came close to us! We're not No. 3; we're No. 1!

What do you mean we had a weak schedule? We're in the SEC! And we played Southern Miss, too! You're telling these boys who played their hearts out and overcame all of these coaching controversies and won every game they played that they aren't good enough to play for the national title? Just because these other teams were ranked higher when the year started?

We got screwed. Everyone knows it. This is so unfair.


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