What, he worry?

Helpful life hint: If you find yourself convicted of a couple of counts of perjury -- actually, let's throw in convictions for obstruction of justice and making false statements to federal investigators, too, just for good measure -- make sure you stay on good terms with the president so you don't have to get within a country mile of a prison cell.

Double bonus if you used to hold a high post in the executive branch and/or the Cheney branch. Triple bonus if the president in question is so unpopular that he doesn't seem to think there's much downside in talking about pardoning you completely, even though almost 70 percent of Americans don't want that to happen.