Let's just have it tomorrow
But now, a bunch of other states like Iowa and New Hampshire and South Carolina are trying to horn in on our territory, acting like they have the right to go before us just because they've been holding their caucuses and primaries early for decades. At this rate, we may only have several major presidential contenders coming to Alabama to raise money alongside our state and local candidates. We must have them all, and they should be camping out on our front porches begging for treats and fetching us a gallon of milk when we don't feel like heading to the store that day.
Our need for desperate, transparent politicians willing to say or do anything for our votes being so clear, this "other states get them first" business mustn't stand. It's important to remember that even though the Constitution mandates that we vote for the president in 2008, it doesn't do anything to limit the 2008 primaries to, well, 2008. Our job, therefore, is to take full advantage of that loophole by moving Alabama's 2008 primaries to 2007. Or maybe this November. (Think of the convenience that consolidation offers.)
Even better, how's next Tuesday?