Irrefutable science

If you thought the thunderstorms in Alabama have been bad lately, just wait a couple of years until the tsunami hits.

OK, fine, roll your eyes if you will, but we'll see who's laughing when the warnings within an Islamic scholar's groundbreaking research spring to life in the form of a giant, vengeful wall of water that consumes every American man, woman, child, dog, cat, and aardvark in its hyperextended path. Further inquiry is necessary to determine if giraffes, which truly don't affect geopolitics outside of running into the occasional power line, shall be immune from the unstoppable, awe-inspiring liquid judgment.