Friday, January 21, 2005

Not that kind of Bikini Bottom

James Dobson and Ed Vitagliano are so mockable that they're not even worth our time. But hey, let's mock anyway.

In a world filled with disease, hunger, poverty, and war, these two goofballs are worried that a cartoon character might be teaching children not to hate gay people. That, of course, would be terrible and immoral and downright sinful, because the Bible says, um, well, hey, look over there, a liberal!

The perpetrator of this moral travesty is SpongeBob SquarePants, that notorious homosexual who lives in a pineapple and flips crabby patties. It seems SpongeBob and other lovable cartoon characters were drawn into a video that encourages tolerance of others, which would simply be an outrage in whatever twisted form of Christianity to which Dobson and Vitagliano adhere.

Most devout Christians know these guys are hilarious, so it's fun to sit back and watch the bemused media coverage of this "controversy." My favorite part so far is this poll:

"SpongeBob SquarePants is:

  • Promoting the acceptance of homosexuality
  • Promoting tolerance and diversity
  • Absorbent, yellow, and porous"

At last check, you'll be pleased to know, the most humorous option had 73 percent of the vote.


Blogger Jen said...

You know what's next. Next, they'll be calling Smithers gay. Oh wait...

6:50 PM  
Blogger Alabamian said...

And just wait until they hear about Stewie on Family Guy. I can hear their minds exploding already.

9:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

...and I wanted so much to vote in that poll. Oh well...

But, yeah, lay the eff off of SpongeBob. The kid's funny.

11:30 AM  
Blogger Carla Jean said...

Smithers is gay?

10:37 PM  

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