Why do you all keep staring?

Iran's president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, totally doesn't know any gay Iranians. Because there aren't any, he told the world today.

And OK, even if there were some -- which, again, there absolutely aren't -- he certainly wouldn't know anything about who they are, or where they live, or what they like to do. Look, what you need to understand is that he's not the kind of guy who would spend his time just hanging around a bunch of gay people.

Which is convenient, because there aren't any in Iran. Which is where he lives. And gay people don't. None.