Let's not ask about his birthday gifts

Alabama's interim head football coach, Joe Kines, doubles as a reliably folksy quote machine. Some of his recent off-the-cuff classics follow, courtesy of The Birmingham News.

On the team's response to practicing on Christmas for Thursday's Independence Bowl in Shreveport, La.: "We have two or three of our youngsters that still believe (in Santa Claus), so we had to deal with that. But the rest of it went pretty good."

On his decision to retire from coaching if he isn't a member of the next Crimson Tide staff: "My next move is going to be to heaven. Moving trucks are not going to be pulling up at my house. I'm not leaving here to go somewhere else. I'm not going to coach at Idaho State Teachers College next year."

On his holiday haul of Christmas presents this year: "Two pair of new underwear, about my usual deal."