Tuesday, May 02, 2006

And that's what The Decider does

President Bush is the kind of decider who, to borrow a phrase from a long-ago disgraced politico whose name dare not be mentioned, feels your pain. He knows your gas costs are more than twice what they were four years ago, and he recognizes your concern that some oil companies are reporting record quarterly profits right now. You're worried that some corporate executives are working together to drain your pockets. He gets it.

Fortunately for you, Bush is a decider who seeks decisive action. That's why people who live in or around cities can look forward to slightly lower prices in exchange for their promise to stop breathing, or at least to stop demanding that what they inhale technically qualify as "clean air." After all, what new cause célèbre would the tree-huggers have to adopt if everyone else started worrying about pollution?

In even better gas-related news, everyone soon can expect a $100 government rebate check to pay for a tank or two. (Let's just hope you remember your sugar daddy in November. And let's also hope you don't think too hard about how we intend to pay for this cheap political stunt needed relief in a time of record budget deficits.) Shop early to get the best deal on thank-you notes.

A lesser decider might stop there, but Bush is The Decider, and he has decided to use whatever means necessary to immunize you not only against soaring pump prices but also against insidious terrorist encroachment and other threats to the American way of life. That would be why he has claimed the right to ignore more than 750 laws whenever he wants.

As an outside observer, you might see no possible justification for a president to blow off hundreds of laws -- provisions about, say, whistleblowing, or affirmative action, or political interference in scientific research -- just because he doesn't like them. You might wonder why we bother electing a Congress if the president can ignore its mandates at will. You might even start to think that such behavior offends the American constitutional tradition of checks and balances and limited government.

But then you must remember that your thoughts ultimately don't matter, because Bush is The Decider, whereas you are not.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Looks like the GOopers are going to drop this $100 scam. Their constituents see it as a political stunt, and the oil companies aren't happy.

3:55 PM  

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