Friday, April 28, 2006

Pay attention, East Carolina fans

Birmingham Mayor Bernard Kincaid on the Birmingham Bowl, a Dec. 23 game between mid-level Big East and Conference USA teams that received NCAA clearance Thursday: "It has the potential to bring back 'The Football Capital of the South.'"

Not with a generic name like that. Let's look at other possibilities:

Vulcan Bowl: A fitting tip of the hat to the city's giant iron mountaintop friend, but rife for abuse by overeager sports pundits who can't wait to unload with lame Star Trek jokes.

Magic City Bowl: Nice idea, but Nashville already cornered the "name your bowl game for the city's nickname" market. Besides, Harry Potter jokes are even lamer than Star Trek jokes.

All-American Bowl: Meet the new bowl, same as the old bowl. What ever happened to that game, anyway?

Yellowhammer Bowl: Somewhat logical, given that Alabama is the Yellowhammer State. Unfortunately, no one outside Alabama knows what a yellowhammer is, and even fewer care.

[Mercedes/eBay/Wachovia] Bowl: The "insert corporate sponsor name here" option, and the likeliest outcome. Pro: Extra money for bowl organizers. Con: Except for the Outback Bowl, which sounds innocuous enough that I can pretend it's a tribute to Australians, I despise all such bowl names.

Legion Bowl: A good way to memorialize the name of a stadium that may have a date with a wrecking ball in a few years. A little too apocalyptic for my taste, though.

Iron Bowl: Heresy. Heresy! Burn the witch! Burn!

Add your own suggestions in the comments.

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