Sunday, May 29, 2005

He wasn't going to win anyway

Robby Gordon never planned to race in the Indianapolis 500 today, but that didn't stop him from drawing our attention to an important problem: Those uppity womenfolk have an unfair racing advantage because they weigh less.

I, for one, am outraged, and I hereby demand that the NBA stop the Eastern Conference finals until I reach the 7-foot mark and get a fair chance to hold Dwyane Wade under 40 points.