Sunday, May 29, 2005

He wasn't going to win anyway

Robby Gordon never planned to race in the Indianapolis 500 today, but that didn't stop him from drawing our attention to an important problem: Those uppity womenfolk have an unfair racing advantage because they weigh less.

I, for one, am outraged, and I hereby demand that the NBA stop the Eastern Conference finals until I reach the 7-foot mark and get a fair chance to hold Dwyane Wade under 40 points.

4 Comments:

Blogger Hanging by the News said...

I think Gordon has a point, but unless you want to weigh down all of the lighter drivers (which is a ridiculous idea but a theoretical one I came up with), it's nothing much to whine about. You can't really do anything about the drivers who weigh less.

I think I calculated Patrick's nearly 1 m.p.h. advantage to an additional 1.26 laps over the course of the race. It seems like a good advantage when races are usually decided by a much smaller difference. However, even with a faster vehicle, a driver still has to weave through the other competitors for 200 laps. Even a driver going 300 m.p.h. (if actually possible) would find it hard to win the race - you still have to drive around 30-odd cars for more than three hours.

11:24 AM  
Blogger Hanging by the News said...

I guess I should have said a driver that could go 300 m.p.h., because (1.) if a driver actually made that speed around the track, they'd finish in 1 2/3-hours instead of more than three hours, and (2.) even if a driver's car could go 300 m.ph. top speed, they would likely have to slow down to the pace of the other cars to avoid wrecking (unless the other drivers were smart enough to get out of the way).

That's what I get for hitting Publish instead of Preview.

11:33 AM  
Blogger Hanging by the News said...

One additional post (and hopefully this will be the last for a while): I see the sarcasm in your response to Gordon, but at least in basketball, different sizes have their advantages. You might find it easier to dunk if you're 7-feet tall, but you're probably a little slower than the shorter players. And even Shaq isn't known for his free-throwing ability.

But with Patrick and racing, a lighter driver is always an advantage. The cars must meet strict weight and design specifications (all the cars must meet a minimum weight without fuel or the driver), so theoretically, all the cars would have the same speed.

With a typical male driver weighing about 100 pounds more than Patrick, the force of gravity on his car is greater, which results in a slightly slower vehicle. And again, Patrick's advantage may seem slight, but mathematically, it's a potentiall 1.26 lap advantage.

11:49 AM  
Blogger Alabamian said...

One thing Gordon didn't mention is that the men's extra bulk gives them big strength and endurance advantages, which makes his whining about Danica Patrick weighing less seem even sillier.

3:55 PM  

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